The Joy's of Christmas

Ah Christmas, it doesn't matter how boring or cynical you are, everybody loves Christmas. If you claim to hate this wonderful holiday, then you are either:

• Lying to make yourself seem cool, because 'cool' people don't love anything



• The spawn of Satan, or one of his minions



• Jeremey Clarkson

Like most things in life Christmas has both good and bad qualities. Which is understandable as nothing is ever perfect.

As much as i hate admitting it, it has to be said that the main focus of Christmas is the build up to the actual day. This year has been the worst ever for advertising Christmas, the adverts were on the TV at the beginning of October. I even walked into a shop to find them selling both Christmas and Halloween merchandise in the same isle. This just seems completely unnecessary as most normal people do their Christmas shopping on the last week.

Even though the adverts have left me rather annoyed, there has been one advert on that fills my heart with Christmas joy every time i watch it. I am talking about the new Marks & Spencer's adverts. With celebrities such as Steven Fry, Philip Glenister and James Nesbitt celebrating the Christmas cheer and reminding us about the reasons why Christmas is so amazing. Also, the slow-mo clips of food and the sexy voice describing a 'melt in the middle chocolate pudding' which is enough to make anyone want to hump the television.

Drink is also another part of Christmas that has two sides to it. As much as everybody enjoys the odd pint when socialising with friends and family. There is always at least one person who will have one too many and end up like this:

Its always going to happen to someone when drink is involved. To say that this ruins Christmas is a lie as everyone enjoys a drink and having the wonderful feel of schadenfreude when they see their friend like this. It is another lie to claim this only happens at Christmas, this will happen wherever drink can be found. Some unfortunate twat always downs too much and ends up being sick on someones hat and having to be dragged up their stairs into bed (you know who you are). This does however bring down the Christmas cheer a bit, but usually everyone else is too drunk to care.

I could go on, but I'm boring myself. So I'll just say Merry Christmas and lets hope the next 10 years are going to be better.

More pointless complaining coming soon....

~Milnesy4000

Dont Believe everything you read

By creating a blog it seems that i have jumped on a huge Internet bandwagon, and part of myself is hating it. The rest of myself couldn't care less thus here i am writing for you.


The idea that anyone in the world can say anything about everything is probably the most ingenious yet dangerous idea anyone has ever had. The written word is incredibly influential, it is guaranteed that if something has been written that some idiot will believe it, no matter how ridiculous it actually is.


A brilliant example of this is the tabloid. Being a fan of the TV show 'Heroes' and also being male i happened to stumble upon this picture of Hayden Panettiere:

and the text that went with this was:

'Camera friendly Hayden Panettiere gets a taste of perspiration from the rear'

Do you really think that Hayden tastes her own arse sweat? Realistically, if you believe this then you are a moron. There is no argument. As sweet and tasty as she is, Hayden would obviously not taste herself, especially in front of the production team and her fellow actors.
This is only one of many examples of bullshit that has been believed by the gullible public.

Anyway, if you've read this far then i must have done something right.
More pointless complaining coming soon.....
~Milnesy4000